Acton is a small town in the Midwest and it is a quiet, safe and clean place to live. Last month, however, Stanley Manufacturing decided to open a large factory in this town. I think it will lead to lots of negative effects. First of all, it will produce much pollution such as water and air, which will make the residents’ health get from bad to worse. Besides, that many people will move to the community will rice the crime rate. Then the town will no longer be secure. Although it will bring lots of jobs, I think the dwellers can establish some tourist spots to make the economic growth. Judging from these negative effects, I am opposed to opening a factory in Acton.
1)第五行rice是要打rise嗎XD?
回覆刪除many people will move to the community will rice the crime rate. Then the town will no longer be secure.
回覆刪除-->it will rise the crime rate if many people are going to move to the community, and therefore the town will no longer be secure.
Besides, that many people will move to the community will rice the crime rate. (兩個will, rise,你餓了嗎?)
回覆刪除第一行to live後面要加介係詞
回覆刪除Acton is a small town in the Midwest and it is a quiet, safe and clean place to live.
回覆刪除改
Acton is a small town which is a quiet, safe and clean place to live in the Midwest.
這樣比較不會有那麼多and
such as water and air 這裡怪怪的
要不要改寫會製造水和空氣等等之類的汙染~
第4行後面我覺得不需要加that
最後一個點怪怪的喔!因為其它兩點都是壞的，可是最後一點是好的(而且前後有點沒邏輯)，所以怪怪的~
it will produce much pollution ~有點怪怪的
回覆刪除你寫such as water air看起來好像是說水跟空氣是污染