John Adams and Thomas Jefferson are both important for the American, and they were similar in many ways. First of all, John Adams was once the president of United States and so was Thomas Jefferson and they were the signers of Declaration of Independence. Besides, both of them were delegate to the Continental Congress and they studied laws. In addition, John Adams was a crucial person in the American Revolution. Similarly, Thomas Jefferson played a crucial role in the American Revolution. Finally, both of them died on July 4, 1826.
delegrate要加d
回覆刪除其他沒什麼問題囉~
delegrate要加d!
回覆刪除沒什麼問題:)
時態不一致
回覆刪除蠻簡潔有力的!
回覆刪除第一句要不要都改成過去式阿
回覆刪除其他應該沒什麼問題
要不要加個結論句啊!
回覆刪除我覺得應該是去掉were 留下delegate要加d →過去式
回覆刪除另外,crucial重複用了兩次,看你要不要改同義字important或significant
然後阿~時態要一致and加上結論句唷!